Last August, I attended the “Grand New Day” conference put on by Women of Faith. Steve Arterburn’s sister, Marilyn, spoke about pre-marital counseling. She told an interesting story, which I hope I recall the details of to share with you.
Lester and Lucy were a couple who had recently married and as they were getting all moved in to their new home, Lester commented about all the boxes they each possessed. Lucy asked Lester what was inside of all his boxes and he answered that it was just “stuff.” She said, “Let’s play a game. Let’s open a box and take one piece of “stuff” out of the box and talk about that one piece.” So, Lester agreed and proceeded to open a box taking out a piece of “stuff.”The first piece of stuff was a gift he had received from his mother years ago. He told Lucy all about the conflict in his relationship with his mother, and how at a young age he left home, lied about his age and enrolled in the army. When he was at strongest odds with his mom and away on duty, he met and married a girl from whom he was now divorced. “Oh . . .” Lucy said slowly and surprised. Then Lester wanted Lucy to share a piece of “stuff.” In agreement, she pulled out her piece of “stuff,” which was a photograph of herself and two of her high school friends. She began to tell Lester about the girls. “When I was a girl I got pregnant and my two friends helped me get an abortion . . .” Before she could finish her story, Lester was already backing away from her. He could not believe what he was hearing, “An abortion?”
In the beginning of the story Lester and Lucy were doing pretty well freely giving grace to one another, but when things came out that were shocking to the other, Lester began to back away, just like he had done with his mother and previous wife.
This story can resonate in so many of our own lives. All we need to do is change the names. There are so many wounds that we carry in our own hearts causing us to respond to other people’s heartache from a condemning and judgmental attitude. Somehow we get it into our heads that we are better than the other person. This is a false truth that we are living in. I love the scripture that teaches us to “Take the LOG out of your own eye before you attempt to remove a SPECK from another persons eye.” Those words alone should ring deep within each of our hearts. How many times have you said, “Look at her, thinking she looks so good” or “I can’t believe she is doing that, I would NEVER do that” and then you find yourself two weeks later, doing exactly what you said you would not do!
I am thankful we have a merciful God and He forgives us for the absolute rubbish that comes from our mouths. There was a time in my life where it did not matter what came out of my mouth. I freely spoke, criticized and made fun of people. Praise God that He has a way to tame that little muscle in our mouths training it, through the heart, to speak on things that are pure and lovely and encouraging, trustworthy, noble, uplifting and praiseworthy (see Philippians 4:8).
We read throughout the scriptures, that when Jesus Christ endured the cross and died a sinners death, we were forgiven of our wrongs and trespasses against God. What is it that prevents many from believing God? We are forgiven! It is left in our hands to accept His forgiveness. God will never force that upon us. In the same way that we are forgiven, we are to forgive others. In fact, the scriptures tell us in very specific words, when you forgive another of his wrongs, he is forgiven in the sight of God!
“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:5-7 (NIV)
Suggested Scripture Reading: Luke 6:42; 2 Corinthians 2:5-7; Matthew 6:12
When I think about Jesus Christ coming to this earth, I am continuously reminded how special each one of us is to Him. Jesus came to earth and died on the cross for us, to give us freedom – LIFE. He did it for one reason, because He loves us! Thank you Jesus! You are unchanging in Love, Truth and Faithfulness for yesterday, today and tomorrow!
I stay in awe that Jesus chose us to die for. I mean, we are people who are running around usually seeking our own pleasure, while sometimes hurting others in the process. But even in our self-way of thinking, Jesus came and died for YOU and ME! That is beautiful love! A love so strong that He laid down His own life and willingly went to the cross. He did not run away or try to escape from the hand of those who would kill him. He willingly went to the cross knowing He would die.
After Jesus died, with the weight of the world upon his shoulders, He was resurrected and ascended into heaven to reign at the throne! He is the High Priest, the One and Only True God who loves us! All come to the Father through Him!
Thank you Jesus for your jealous love of us! The gift of life~only by Jesus Christ!
“For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.” 1 Corinthians 15:3-8
Do you feel like people are out to get you? Like they slow you down or they don’t understand how important your schedule is? Do you think others should do things in the timing you need? Becoming critical of other’s behavior can put us in the role of being judge. I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe I qualify for the role of judge. Behind every single person you meet in a day, there is a story that most cannot see. Perhaps someone just lost a loved one, or they have a dependency, or maybe they are losing their home due to the down economy, or it could be that they just don’t feel LOVED. Recognizing this fact, while taking your focus off of yourself, allows you to see deeper into someone’s heart. Maybe . . . just maybe . . . instead of criticizing, you might see an opportunity!
Pray for eyes to see from His perspective. Ask God to open the eyes of your heart!
It wasn’t anything I did. It was not from my strength or my effort at all. I had no control over what was happening to my life and me anymore. This time I would not win the battle of being in control over myself. I had chosen before not to be involved in certain activities I believed were bad for me, but mostly because I didn’t want to be out of control of my life. I had a long history of making sure I made decisions ensuring I would be in control of my life.
My part of this was over. I would no longer be the one making the decisions for my life. It looked awful, I left everything I had and the one man I thought loved me more than life itself. I had no idea what was happening and it was very scary. I traveled more than ten thousand miles alone, hoping to get where I was going in safety, knowing that I was deeply suffering a takeover in my life. In retrospect, four years later, I see that I was brought to my knees. I was being hotly pursued by God, who would not take no for an answer. He was drawing me to Him and the closer I got, even though I did not understand, the more I wanted to be closer!
I will never forget that day and the freedom that washed over me. I had lived the past with so much guilt and shame and such a deep sense of unworthiness that when I received this amazing gift of freedom, I knew that it had to be something greater than myself. It was like every weight that had held me back was lifted off of me. I did not have the stress and anxiety from all the circumstances surrounding my life. It really was like a miracle to me. I was going through one of the hardest times in my life and I had this sense of peace I cannot describe in words.
I became so thirsty too. You know the commercials they used to run for Bounty® paper towels? They would pour two pools of water on the counter and use Bounty® paper towels and another leading brand to show how much more absorbent bounty towels were. It was like I was a Bounty® paper towel on speed! I was so thirsty to learn about God. I spent hours, months, years buried in the Bible, seeking to know Him on a deeper level.
I wanted to be around other people who had gone through the same experience that I did and I prayed that God would bring those people into my life. He blessed my life immensely by bringing people into my life that had received this same gift. We all began to study together, sing together, praise and show love toward God together. The more I read God’s Word, the more I knew me. Knowing more about myself helped me to understand why I had gone through the circumstances that I had and even more so, why God had chosen to rescue me from the life that brought me such pain. Through learning about Him, I learned my life’s purpose.
Though I grew up attending church a minimum of three days a week, had the privilege of going to a Christian school and college and I married those who professed to be Christians, I never knew what the true meaning of being a Christian was until God rescued me from myself. Really, to me that is what it is all about. He is the One who created us, He knows everything about us, our needs, our thoughts, our desires; but we think we know better, so guess what? Because God offers free will, He allows us to walk this path of destruction until one day we are at such a low point and in such a state of desperation that we fall on our knees and say, okay Lord . . . Enough, I’m yours, take me, I can’t do this anymore, I surrender, I’m sorry, please just help me!
Our life continues, but this part of the journey is now with God at the helm as we choose to follow His lead. The gift of freedom from the life of our past is great, and we are amazed by it, but we soon realize that what we did against God was so hurtful to Him and we go through a metamorphic sense of remorse turning us from all the things we used to do out of a heart of love for Him! This time we have this super strength that we did not have before because we are depending on Christ for our strength, not ourselves.
As God’s children, the promises to us are many. The biggest part of those promises being fulfilled is believing God! Many believe in Him, but those who believe Him for who He is, what He can do, who we are in Him, that He is our strength, and His words truly become alive and active in us, will see God’s faithfulness to His promises.
Through reading His word, we become wiser and are able to share the love He gives us with a confidence that is once again indescribable. It is not an arrogance; it is actually a confidence with humility! We are able to determine a better and more fulfilling way to live and our eyes are opened to a new perspective that only God can provide to us.
The most amazing and faith-building part of it is that everything we have done that was opposed to Him is taken and used for good so others may see how Almighty, Magnificent and Glorious He is. He does it all in such a beautiful way that the finger points to Him through our lives! That is how He then uses us as tools for Him!
Salvation is freedom. Salvation is assurance that we will live in communion with God forever. Salvation is knowing that God loves us without reservation and there is nothing we can do to earn that love. It is a free gift! We learn to accept His gifts and His love. From that love, He heals our wounds, the wounds of those in our families, our neighbors and those who are in our circle of influence. We begin to have a passion to know His heart and desire only to be filled with His desires, not our own. He has brought us home and we receive what is a glimpse of the promise of remaining with him eternally, knowing we are always a work in progress. We know that all things in our lives are perfectly orchestrated by the Creator of this world. We know that with Him we can overcome. We know that there is nothing that can stop us if God is for us and we have a confidence, a peace, and a wisdom that others desire deeply. This is the salvation I have received.
I work now for God each day in all I do. It is the most amazing life I have ever had and I look forward to the day when I can ask why I had to go through almost 40 years of stubbornness, arrogance and self-righteousness before I would let Him take control of my life.
The experiences I had in my past life are now turned around working for God. I offer a support group for women going through relationship brokenness that stems from abuse and addiction. I write and speak to share the truth about Jesus Christ and I am a Certified Christian Life Coach. I do all this out of a heart of love, knowing that there are others out there just like me, who need someone to keep them focused while holding them accountable. In this way many others will know Him deeper and grow to be all that God created them to be!
Our God is great, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and I am a living, walking, breathing example of one of His true miracles!
I can recall the precise moment when I realized how much God loves me. It was the most fulfilling day of my life and the beginning of many more. I recall feeling so empty and alone before I knew His love. My defining moments were at the beginning of a new year and the end of another life.
It was New Year’s Day and I was taking down the Christmas tree ornaments one by one from the tree, singing along with worship music as I was working. I love to sing and though that is not one of my better talents, I was singing out from my heart. I was alone in the house and I had climbed up a ladder to remove some of the ornaments out of my reach. Once I reached the third step of the ladder, something happened inside of me and a flood of emotions and tears began to spill from my heart and eyes. I climbed down the ladder as quickly as possible and sat in a chair. In that very moment, I began desperately calling out to God to help me and save me from my empty heart that was so heavy and broken to pieces. I told Him I couldn’t do this “life thing” alone anymore and that I needed Him to walk with me, to show me how to live and lead me in my life.
I had realized how my life before was so opposed to Him, and how much He must have been hurting as He watched over me all those years, longing for me to come to Him. I am certain He would have said to me how much better my life could be with Him. Not easier, but better and fuller with more meaning and purpose. I had reached a point of realization and recognition of my sinful life; and that no matter what I tried, doing things on my own was no longer working. My life was a complete mess and it was due to me continuously choosing the wrong path without being aware of it. Going through a divorce at the same time confirmed even more that I had not made wise choices for my life. I wasn’t a bad person; at least I didn’t think so.
What I recognized that day was that I did not have the human capacity to choose the right ways or do the best things, no matter how intelligent or analytical I was. I learned that without letting go of the control, and letting God have my life completely, that I would remain in that current state of emptiness. What I realized and had revelation of was that I was God’s child and even more so, that He loved me no matter what I had done. He had sacrificed His own Son’s life so that I could be forgiven. I remember feeling such sorrow for the way I had hurt Him. How could I have done things so opposed to all He represents?
That wasn’t all, I realized through reading His Word that He literally raised His Son, Jesus Christ, from the dead! He brought him back to life and He ascended to heaven after three days to reign at the right hand of God at the throne in heaven! When I looked at my own life, I then realized that He was offering me the same opportunity. I was being offered a chance to put my old life behind me with my sins forgiven and remembered no longer, and to begin to learn about Him and His truth, His love and His justice. Believing this and putting my trust in Him would start a transformation in me that would change everything. I had no clue what was next. There were trials and hardships to overcome, but I knew, that because I was His child, I was an over comer, therefore I sought above all else to press on to know Him deeper. As I grew to know Him deeper I became more like Him, not perfect, no one except Him is perfect, but my life began to change. My perspective changed, my heart began to soften, to heal and to allow Him to fill me up. I began to reach out to be there for other people in need, to put them first, to spend my time on things that were worthy of His honor, not things that were opposed to Him and would wither and die. I am telling you, this God that we have hears us when we call out to Him and He will answer us. It may not be exactly what we want to hear, it may be a no or a wait; but He will answer and He will do what is precisely the very best for us in the exact timing it needs to be done. He knows our hearts better than we know them ourselves. Him doing everything in His timing causes us to learn to depend on Him more and more, deeper and deeper, until that is all we know, a work always in process. Dependency upon Him and time with Him creates a new life from a life that was once dead, but is now raised in Christ as a new creation.
An intimate and personal relationship with Jesus Christ is unlike any other relationship. No matter where you go wrong, no matter what ails you, no matter how much you hurt, He will be there to guide you when you earnestly call out to Him. That is called unconditional love. There is not one human on this earth that can offer that to another in his own strength. Sure we can come close, but we don’t meet the mark because we are human. Why do you think we call the dog man’s best friend? Could it be because a dog cannot talk back or tell us how bad or disappointing we are to them?
God meets us where we are, loves us where we are and begins a work in us from a heart of love that was there at our creation. He is the Truth and He tells it in such a way of grace that we keep running back to Him for more. Why do we keep going back to Him? He designed us to need Him. He is our Creator and He buried deep inside of us an innate desire to know Him and His love. He loved us first! He gave His own Son’s life for us! When we open our hearts to believe that truth, submit our lives to Him and invite Him to be our every thing, we will begin to see what it means to truly be loved and how to love well. It is through His love that loving ourselves and others well happens. I am a living-breathing testament to this truth. I hope you too can be.
I had someone say to me recently, “You are nice to everyone, how do you do that? How can you be nice to the people who have been so hurtful toward you in the past? How do you put the bitterness and anger in its place?” My response was that,” If I continue to hold bitterness and anger in my heart toward others, it only hurts me. It causes me sickness, worry, and heartache. It causes my heart to be hard and empty. I said that I had lived more than half of my life that way and I choose not to live that way anymore. I am free from that now, I will not go back and live in the past.” That was a long way to say, which I should have said in that moment, “How can I be unforgiving to someone and not extend grace to him or her, when I know so deeply the grace which God has freely imparted to me. I desire to live in that grace every moment and I would never choose to go back. God takes care of every injustice, that is His place, not ours.” God is love; when we love others through the filter of our experiences and knowing His truth, we will reflect the love of Him into others hearts!
Through His truth He has promised to protect us, guide us and provide our needs, as well as promising the assurance of reigning with Him eternally in His Kingdom. Do you have that assurance today? Are you in need of a Savior that will love you no matter what you have done? You have one with His hands extended to you right now, inviting you to know Him. When we invite Jesus into our hearts for the strength to be all He wants us to be, we will recognize our wrong ways and turn away from them and as we follow His lead He will make a way!. He will not fail us. He is the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is unchanging. He is truth, love and grace. He is the great I AM!
If you have read this far, perhaps this has touched your heart. God may be pursuing you vehemently. I am praying for you that you will open your heart and let Him in. If you are willing to let go of the control and open your heart to Him, ask Him to take hold of your head, your heart, your eyes and ears, your hands and feet and lead you into all He has for you, to show you the truth and to enable you, by the power of the gift of the Holy Spirit, to persevere, stand firm and become all He desires you to be. Read His Word in the Bible, connect with others who truly love Jesus and share His amazing grace together bringing glory and honor to His name!
I wish you a Happy New Year! I pray that your year is filled with the peace, joy and love, available to us, only through the Son of God, Jesus Christ.
Last August, I attended the “Grand New Day” conference put on by Women of Faith. Steve Arterburn’s sister, Marilyn, spoke about pre-marital counseling. She told an interesting story, which I hope I recall the details of to share with you.
