Last August, I attended the “Grand New Day” conference put on by Women of Faith. Steve Arterburn’s sister, Marilyn, spoke about pre-marital counseling. She told an interesting story, which I hope I recall the details of to share with you.
Lester and Lucy were a couple who had recently married and as they were getting all moved in to their new home, Lester commented about all the boxes they each possessed. Lucy asked Lester what was inside of all his boxes and he answered that it was just “stuff.” She said, “Let’s play a game. Let’s open a box and take one piece of “stuff” out of the box and talk about that one piece.” So, Lester agreed and proceeded to open a box taking out a piece of “stuff.”The first piece of stuff was a gift he had received from his mother years ago. He told Lucy all about the conflict in his relationship with his mother, and how at a young age he left home, lied about his age and enrolled in the army. When he was at strongest odds with his mom and away on duty, he met and married a girl from whom he was now divorced. “Oh . . .” Lucy said slowly and surprised. Then Lester wanted Lucy to share a piece of “stuff.” In agreement, she pulled out her piece of “stuff,” which was a photograph of herself and two of her high school friends. She began to tell Lester about the girls. “When I was a girl I got pregnant and my two friends helped me get an abortion . . .” Before she could finish her story, Lester was already backing away from her. He could not believe what he was hearing, “An abortion?”
In the beginning of the story Lester and Lucy were doing pretty well freely giving grace to one another, but when things came out that were shocking to the other, Lester began to back away, just like he had done with his mother and previous wife.
This story can resonate in so many of our own lives. All we need to do is change the names. There are so many wounds that we carry in our own hearts causing us to respond to other people’s heartache from a condemning and judgmental attitude. Somehow we get it into our heads that we are better than the other person. This is a false truth that we are living in. I love the scripture that teaches us to “Take the LOG out of your own eye before you attempt to remove a SPECK from another persons eye.” Those words alone should ring deep within each of our hearts. How many times have you said, “Look at her, thinking she looks so good” or “I can’t believe she is doing that, I would NEVER do that” and then you find yourself two weeks later, doing exactly what you said you would not do!
I am thankful we have a merciful God and He forgives us for the absolute rubbish that comes from our mouths. There was a time in my life where it did not matter what came out of my mouth. I freely spoke, criticized and made fun of people. Praise God that He has a way to tame that little muscle in our mouths training it, through the heart, to speak on things that are pure and lovely and encouraging, trustworthy, noble, uplifting and praiseworthy (see Philippians 4:8).
We read throughout the scriptures, that when Jesus Christ endured the cross and died a sinners death, we were forgiven of our wrongs and trespasses against God. What is it that prevents many from believing God? We are forgiven! It is left in our hands to accept His forgiveness. God will never force that upon us. In the same way that we are forgiven, we are to forgive others. In fact, the scriptures tell us in very specific words, when you forgive another of his wrongs, he is forgiven in the sight of God!
“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:5-7 (NIV)
Suggested Scripture Reading: Luke 6:42; 2 Corinthians 2:5-7; Matthew 6:12
