Month: October 2013

Sister to Sisters

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sisters. My mom is one of four sisters. I have two sisters, my daughters have each other and my grandson has one sister. I have a sister-in-law, but I think of her more as my sister. Then there are friends that are like sisters. Sisters have been on my mind lately.

When I was a child, I couldn’t see the value of having a sister. I mean how does a big sister who has more privileges, and a younger sister who you fight with using weapons like fingernails and hairbrushes make you want to love them? I just couldn’t see it. There are times when sisters are selfish and stay in the bathroom longer than normal, or share by giving you the bite of cake without the icing. Some sisters judge unfairly and leave one feeling inferior and unloved. Sometimes we hang our head and wonder in frustration, God, why did you give me this sister?

We become teenagers and begin to compete with one another in how we attract boys, fight over the hall telephone (, the way we dress, vying for attention from our parents and even who has the prettiest hair! We work hard to be accepted by each other’s friends when all we really want is to get “all eyes on me.” 

Years pass, sisters grow up and marry and build their own families. In the process of all this growth something happens. We begin to see that the things we hated about one another when children are the very things we love about one another as adults. We realize there is nothing closer than the bond of a sister and that no one can ever replace the love a sister brings. We raise our hands and whisper, Thank you God for my sister!

In the second half of life, our children leave home to build their own families. Feeling lonely and abandoned, we crave more time with our sisters. We begin to realize that these unique women are gifts from our Creator. We realize that a sister is one who loves us no matter what we have done, where we have been or how we have done it.  A sister’s love runs deep; deeper than those without a sister can comprehend. We will do anything for our sister, even to the point of being belittled, mistreated or deceived. None of that matters in the end. We look beyond it. Some might be judgmental of a sister who loves this way. But the sister who lives it knows what she is doing. She is answering a higher call. A call that comes from deep inside. A call to love. This is how people will know you as Mine, it will be your love for one another. Once again we might implore, God, this is so hard, why did you give me this sister?

As we approach the end of our lives, our spouses are gone and we care for one another as a mother cares for her child. We go to the doctor together, give prescribed medications and attend funerals of friends. We cook, laugh and have fun, aware the time is drawing us closer to the end. We savor each moment smiling and remember the past as we sit by roaring fires. Though our hair is grayed,  skin is loose and our hands have become feeble, the eyes tell the story of life. When you look deep inside you see love. The voice has changed, “Thank you God for the love my sister has brought into my life! Thank you for teaching me to love. This has to be why God gave me a sister!”

Everyday sisters are caught in the stage of adolescence. They are still vying for the most attention or to be the one in control. This creates division, pain and loss.

When is the last time you told your sister you love her and are thankful for her? Has it been too long? Love never fails. If you are missing out on the joy of sisterhood, search your heart as to why, stretch yourself and pick up the phone. When you whisper I love you, relationships can change.

I think I’ll call my sister right now. 

No Shoes

Two Different Shoes_No shoes_102513She walked in about ten minutes late so concerned about her tardiness. “I don’t even think I can tell you what happened to me.” She began trying to tell me why she was late before I could say anything. “I really think I am just getting dumb,” and she went on “I can’t remember anything anymore.”

I was certain it had to do with her being inundated with information. I knew she was going through a difficult time.  “I’m late. I walked in early and looked down at my feet, and I was barefoot.” Smiling and almost laughing as I envisioned the scene, I explained, “It really isn’t that unusual. I’ve worn two different colored shoes to the office before. I’ve known many other women who have done the same thing.”

Me sharing my personal experience seemed to put her at ease a little and when I looked down at her feet that were turning blue, I had to ask, “Where did you get shoes,  you said you are barefoot?” “Oh, Allison, I ran to the consignment store and then to my daughter’s favorite boutique across the parking lot.” I kept smiling thinking how resourceful she was to go to a store instead of driving all the way home. She kept talking, “The consignment store had nothing my size and the boutique didn’t either.” I was a little confused. After all, she did have shoes on.  “Where did you get your shoes?” She looked at me like a cat with a mouse in its mouth, “I got a size too small at the boutique, my feet are squished into them.”

Isn’t this just the way we do things sometimes in our lives? We rush around in a panic looking to find something that will fit and when we don’t find it, we settle by forcing it.

When is the last time you forced something and not let it take its natural course? Did it hurt you or anyone else?