I have been weary lately.  I have begun to feel the hardship of the circumstances around me, yet I know deep in my heart that there is One in me that will not fail me.  Even knowing this I begin to lose the stillness that my soul so thirsts for and I start to see things from a different perspective.  I lose the sense of thankfulness that was so prevalent in my heart, soul and mind as I begin to whine about my circumstances.  I lose touch with what is truly important, not only for my own life but those around me. I begin to think that I have lost the battle and I start floundering as a fish does when out of water.  I lose the precious sense of peace that it was once there and I am left wondering how it has been possible that I have lost what was the cornerstone of my life.

I stop, I let things go, I release whatever is not working in my life to God and allow Him to take control. Slowly I begin to feel a sense of inner peace and I suddenly have more time to dedicate to the things that are genuinely important in this life.  I get back into my quiet time, I am in prayer with the Almighty One and instantly I begin to see Him in my life again. It was never He who left me; it was me that left Him.  I begin to realize how no matter what the circumstances are around my life, He has so strategically planned and designed them all.  Nothing is by coincidence. Everything is in place to prune me, to eliminate the things that no longer are a source of true life and will hinder me from intimately knowing His love.  I begin to see prayers being answered again, I see how people in my life are supposed to be there and I realize without any doubt that each one is placed here for a purpose.  Though I am not God and cannot be one-hundred percent certain of the path I am on, I have great confidence and hope that He is leading me because of seeing His promises and faithfulness come alive in my life and the lives of those I love. I can see my life is different and it is better than it has ever been.

I begin to pray in the back of my mind softly, like a whisper that is ever-present. It is the Spirit of God that lives in me and gives me life. I am so thankful for each of the circumstances.  Though I have walked this earth for more than 50 years, it took me half a century to realize that God loves me infinitely, He has plans for my life and no matter what tries to thwart His plan, He will not allow it. He will consistently bring me back to where He wants me to be!  Yes, it is my choice to surrender all I have and am to Jesus Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of my life, but if I do not choose Him, over time He will allow things in my life to cause me to turn to Him.  This is clear in the way He vengefully pursued me. I lost everything that was important to me and I was left with nothing but God to turn to for comfort and rescue. He brought people into my life each step of the journey before and after He revealed Himself to me. He opens doors and closes doors along the way for me to realize that He is in control of all things. Why shouldn’t He be? He created them all and also each of us.

My prayer today is one of immense gratitude and thankfulness that each and every circumstance in my life has been and is an opportunity for me to love another.  In professing to be so in love with Jesus Christ, I too have a responsibility to Him out of that deep love to love others in the same way I am loved by Him. He is a merciful, forgiving, loving and just God and He wants nothing more than for us to love Him and one another the same.