In 2006 I left behind a life of brokenness, pain and emptiness and was brought under the wing of our mighty and glorious God. Though I had no clue what was happening at the time, I wrote down all the emotions and pain I was experiencing the day before I boarded a plane to travel 10,000 miles back to my family, friends, and church. Though I had no idea how I got from point A to point B, but I believe it was by the hand of our magnificent Creator! Praises and Glory to Him forever and ever!
Sick
Feel My Spirit is crushed
Can’t write feelings down because not private
Nothing personal at all in my life
Nothing that defines me surrounds me
Spiraling out of control
Cannot perform a menial task without forcing myself
Despise this place I live
Do not have intimacy
Feel exhausted
Tired and lonely
Cannot “take care” of everyone – not even me
Feel betrayed
The trust is broken
Drinking and partying goes on
The affairs and alcohol have broken my heart
Do not know what is wrong with me
Feel out of touch with life and who I am
Can’t wait for the night, then can’t wait for the day
Everyday is an effort to survive
No where to have space
Can’t go outside, afraid
Obsessed with appearance
Feel detached
Miss the laughter
Not validated
Here with me, but not
Always looking at everyone else, but not me
No conversation-just surface
Doesn’t listen to me
Too much to handle
Scared, lonely, so, anxious, homesick
Where is Allie?