In the past month, I have been asked by three men to coach them through a difficult time. I have coached only a few men in the past, but I opened the door to the chance to walk beside them to help move forward. I’m glad I did.

There are times when life feels like it has a vice grip tightening on our heads. We begin to lose clarity of what is happening, and our capacity to cope starts to dry. The harder we try to deal, the vice grip tightens. Eventually, we lose our head. We can’t think to make decisions, don’t want to be around people, and act like we know all the answers. But something has happened without recognition.

Photo by lydia harper on Unsplash

We have crash landed, and our head is gone. Our guts are hanging outside of us, our thinking is distressed, and we are desperate for something, but we can’t put our finger on it. We have missed the runway. We turn to what we have in the past. That thing that temporarily makes us feel better. But it never does the job. We inevitably wake up and start over again. Whether it is alcohol, drugs, pornography, or other mind-altering coping mechanisms, we return to it like a dog returns to vomit. It’s our safety net, and we will not let it go. If you are stuck and are looking for freedom, I hope the questions and answers below will help you find your way.

What do we do when life as we know it is falling apart?

  • Everyone needs acceptance when getting our feet back on solid ground.
  • We need connection with someone who genuinely values our life and future
  • We must have help from one who will lovingly speak the Truth, even when it isn’t pretty.

How do we put the pieces back together?

  • If we are a believer in Jesus Christ, we are called to Love The Lord from the inside out and seek Him first.
  • It is also the Truth that if we ask for wisdom, He will give it.
  • We can discover the reality of where we are, how we got here, and where we want to be.
  • Basing our thought life on Truth is a requirement, not the assumption of what another might be thinking.

How do we find our way to new beginnings?

How we attain success in life and relationships is dependent upon our core beliefs. And, success is relative. One can be successful with no spouse, a small home, and a small salary or they can have a stable marriage, large home, and generous salary. It’s all about perspective.

We will have success if we can keep our focus on being content in each moment. If we remember to walk in contentment and be grateful for each moment, that can change our perspective on everything. It enables us to see things we missed before and to connect the dots where we failed in the past.

The one most empowering thing we can do is forgive. Forgiving others is easier than forgiving self. It is a process that begins with the intentional choice and commitment to keep at it even when unforgiveness rears its ugly head again. It will change our heart and set us on a journey to see life from a new perspective, a place of love.

Living with the mindset that we can do all things through Christ’s strength as our Source will be the catalyst for more than we imagine.

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